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Any comments on this or the last one would be greatly appreciated, this one is just a plaything...

"Dawson turns thirty"

Everything tastes reprinted now
the original lost at sea
not in a bottle, but surely sinking

respectable epitaph
offers no comfort
just a "Merry Christmas"
as she hands him a packet of
honey mustard -- an offering of
the contents of
panning back, the stars forgive
nothing upon the deadened beach
as the crabs trapse guardedly
through black sands
12 DEC 02, ECB

So last night was just a fun let's eat Mexican at Las Palmas fest with Caleb, this dude in my department who is from Alabama. We jam every now and then, but not often enough. He does sort of an old school folk thing which is great - and we do some Bob Dylan and shit like that, which is fun to get some cello in on. Anyway, we went out to the Palmas, because he is OBSESSED with Mexican food. My description of him is that he is a Mexican Platonist who throws the discus because his constant two questions to me are, in no particular order: 1) Wanna go work out?, and 2) Wanna go eat Mexican? But Mason aptly corrected me by saying that he is a Southern Mexican Platonist who throws the discus. So there. Anyway, Palmas is always good...then we came back to mi apartamento, where my roommate was about to study for the exam she takes as we speak (on a Saturday, yes), and the New Kids On the Block Behind the Music / Tru E-Hollywood storyuc ARGH! It ate the longest post I have ever written all about music and what people have to teach each other and shit...that sucks. FRUSTRATION. I refuse to recreate it. I'll just end with my Kierkegaard quote like I was going to when it scrolled up and ate my huge post. Fuckers.

"Such things do not create much of a stir in the world, for a self is the last thing the world cares about and the most dangerouse thing of all for a person to show signs of having." -- Soren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death

 
this one is to ponder: I don't have a title yet, but merely a dedication...


For William

I don't want to unmask the silent rogue
this time I don't want
my wooden bowl gone empty
I am sated in the winded
I don't want him to speak
because beauty lies in the silence
the fragment of connection --
imagined
in streets and on doorsteps
when the air grows as still
as this hole in my chest
/ with no beating
the space electric moves
despite all of us
and without
resembles --
nothing.
-E.C. Bradfield 12 December 02

 
Media: bad Christmas songs on the way to work - "Hang all the mistletoe / I'm gonna get to know you better this Christmas" - The Temptations, "This Christmas" I was amused by this one because at first I thought it was about a guy with a strange attraction to mistletoe because he was lonely...but really it is about a guy who's gonna get to know his girl better over the holidays, if you know what I mean! But the first version does more for me. I don't know if it compares with the "worries / flurries" song, but we'll see. I think we should have a contest for the worst line in a Christmas song. These two are the front runners as far as I am concerned, but there are a few more days before the birth of little baby Jesus. Or something...

 
If I have time for drama, I have time for drinks. Going out to Bosco's in an hour...

Wrote an epic 40 page paper for Wood. Woo hoo. A thesis length thingy in 3 weeks, if not less (writing time anyway).

Media / quote of the day:

I take one, one, one cuz you left me
and two, two, two for my family,
and three, three, three for my heartache
and four, four, four for my headaches
and five, five, five for my lonely,
and six, six, six for my sorrow,
and seven, seven, nuh-nuh-nuh no tomorrow,
and eight, eight, I forget what eight was for
but nine, nine, nine for a lost God,
ten, ten Ten TEN for EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING!

-- Violent Femmes, "Kiss Off"

 
I know that I liked London the best...but it probably is dramatic like Seattle in the scene in which Irene gets slapped. Important distinction. But today is another day. I actually called up my brother at one thirty in the morning to talk about it - which was 2.30am for him. Only I could know that my brother would be up at that hour. Like brother like sister I guess. He didn't have much by way of advice, and sort of said what I already knew or felt about it - aside from the protective little brothering of Evan (it was sweet), I am on the same conclusion I was at before. And upon what Kristin said: Some of us go through these sucky situations again and again because the Heartleys of the world woudln't be able to handle it. Drink to that. But now it is class time...well sooner than not, so I will go ramble on.

 
so my life is the real world meets 90210 on crack.

Erin likes Eric.
Eric doesn't like Erin that way.
Rachel likes him.
Eric likes Rachel.
Erin walks in the rain.
Any questions? Follow the logic of suck?

Out.

 
A line to ponder:

"Forget your worries / The weatherman's predicting flurries" - Band unknown, and probably better that way.

Heard this little gem this morning on progressive radio...I almost turned the channel - well, I did, but then turned back because it made me smile for some reason. Cheesy like the Cheese King.

ANd this after having a dream that I interpret as meaning "do not become a hip hop mogul" as though any second now, I was about to switch to decaf and start hanging people over balconies to get the rights to Ïce Ïce Baby. But on some level, it was informative and meaningful in terms of the sort of day I had yesterday. Hmmm. Help me out if you know what it means. Shug Knight might have been in my dream, but that is not for sure.

Off to fold shirts and maximize my time at dream analysis.

 
The sort of band I am in has the following name, which I am ambivalent about at best (I used to be very negative, but the more I tell people about it, the more I dig it): "Our Name is False Teeth"

What kinda music do you guys play? PhiLL are you on drums or something else? This will help me suggest stuff!

 
"The Anchor Song" is on debut, and on this greatest hits it is dazzling. She gets all quiet and kinda crackly and tears into you, even if you don't expect it - especially because you don't expect it. Another to check out on Debut is "Like Someone in Love" - it is an old song, I think Sinatra did it (don't know if he wrote it), but the harp inlay is amazing on it. That is absent on the greatest hits package.

I visited my past the other day and sent an email to this kid I knew in high school and expressed regrets about how certain things went in true stupid high school fashion. It was just strange that after this long, I still felt compelled somehow to apologize and explain myself -- I guess because I didn't explain it then. And me being Ms. Candid, and having gotten into other such adventures lately, it was time to retrace my steps a bit and see why I am as candid as I am...and it led me back to high school. Go figure. My record still remains intact...as my timing is impeccable and my feelings are skewed. At least I'm not unoriginal.

 
It's pretty, it's pink, it has little tiny disk thingys and the Bjork greatest hits as chosen by Bjork herself. The string disks are probably my favorite -- where she rocks out with a quartet to some of my favorite songs. Her versions of "Unravel," "Possibly Maybe," and particularly "The Anchor Song" did me in hardcore. "The Anchor Song" could break your heart.

Sorry the band thing didn't go well. Got an email from Chris Hunt saying you guys were playing. Tell him I say hi if / when you see him.

Peace.

 
Thanks Flynn. The big 22 was awesome. Some of my friends threw me a dinner party and we chilled and jammed and drank wine and played Trivial Pursuit, 20th Anniversary edition. I didn't really write on my birthday...didn't do work really...which was a welcome break for me. But I still have papering to do...alas.

Bought myself the Bjork box set. Oh the goodness. : )

Out.