31 July 03
The tenuous connections
tear at me endless
till the spaces and silence
adore my own stillness
I am alone and am staving off lonely
I travel down corridor, sidestreet, and hiway
looking for lovely and coming up empty
TENUOUS
I want to believe in
words and in feelings
like friendship and love and people and dreaming
but it all falls short of simple explanation
and cold contact is never enough
when minds work to warring
TENUOUS
I am in tension
in mind and in soul
my eyes roll persuasion
while lips move not at all
I try to distract you
to slip into your heart
but it's all just so useless
when my laugh doesn't start
TENUOUS
I feel in futility
and see not in color
I dream in a nightmare
and shred off the covers
I know this is pointless
but genuflect anyway
at the altar of emotions
at the tower of candid you-tell-me
TENUOUS
I am not a writer I am not a poet
this sort of denial doesn't let me show it
maybe it's music dripping out of my pen
but it doesn't allow me
to soul out my within.
The Eels and The Flaming Lips: An Experience Remembered Expostfacto,
8 August 2003
Now it's time for another installment in Uptown Mix / Nashville "Music City USA" and all the bands and acts and amazingness that runs through this town. I'm sure you've heard my rundown of Dancin' in the District and hte way it acts as a mode of socialization for teeny bop kids with nothin better to do on a Thursday night -- and by rights, no argument there. Uptown Mix is a 21 and up venue, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a more mature situation by any means. Actually, the adults talk as much as the kids do -- to which one wonders why live music is necessary to the equation at all. Boozin in the street -- yes, of course, there must be an ample excuse for such things.
More preface... Uptown Mix and Dancin' in the District (the latter of which used to be called "River Stages,") used to be free. Now a good deal of my friends, who, mind you, didn't even live in Nashville a year ago when the events were gratis - bitch and moan up and down about the five dollar cover for Uptown Mix (Dancin in D. is only 3 dollars, and usually I can get tickets through Borders for free). Movies, even fucking matinees, don't cost five dollars anymore. Live music for five bucks ain't bad. And where could you possibly see the Jayhawks of the FLAMING LIPS for just five bucks? Chump change for amazing bands -- and my fucking friends bitch. This still baffles me.
Anyway, so Lucas and I made plans to go, which was guaranteed to be a good time - whenever Lucas and I get togehter and decide to leave the house, we're up for fun, and this was no exception. We got primed for the event by selling and buying cds -- I acquired a Chiffons cd for $3.99 and an EMF single with remixes (ok bad remixes but whatever) for .49. It was brilliant. Anyway, cds and pounding a pitcher of bad beer at the local hole in the wall bar, all while indulging in my Galaga obsession, and then we're off and running to catch the end of the Eels set. "He's So Fine" turns into "Oh My Lord" on my car stereo, to which Lucas improv-ed lyrics like "Oh my muthafuckin Lord" and "Tha Lord's my muthafucka" etc. which was entertaining. We arrive, meet all the friends we're supposed to find and fuck all to the everyone elses who are there. Lucas and I are having a time and are on the prowl for some action. We run gleefully through the crowd hand in hand, looking for adventure and basically finding each other (and more beer). The Eels acually play "Novacaine for the Soul" but it falls flat - sounds like shit.
And then finally...it's time for the Flaming Lips. The crowd's so big that the Mix actually had to turn people away. A big portion of the throng is comprised of crunchy granola types who saw FL @ Bonaroo a coupla weeks prior. I would normally push my way to the front, but the mass of sweaty bodies, poor visibility, and distorted sound seem none too appealing - so we perch up on the hill and get a decent view, albeit a tad far away. They open it up with a tune from the Soft Bulletin -- the scientist one - "The Race for the Prize" - and don't disappoint. Song after song, Wayne Coyne delivers with a gleaming smile and an almost messianic splendor...the effect is doubled when giant bunny rabbits jump around on stage and people behind the band blow up huge baloons and toss them into the audience for them to fling about as they will. The real highlights were "Yoshimi," which ended with a nice audience sing along, "Do You Realize," which was as heartbreaking as when I first heard it two summers ago and thought deeply about my life experience and funeral attendance. They even played "She Don't Use Jelly," which was a hearty surprise. But the biggest surprise was when they played my favorite song -- the song I should have babbled to Wayne Coyne about when I sold him that book -- when the first notes of "Waitin For A Superman" sprang out, I jumped up and let out a heart felt squeal and screamed "YES!" as I pumped my hand in the air. I never expected them to play it and they did. Awesome.
Their last song in this Yoshimi-Soft Bulletin heavy set was "What Is This Light" which was delivered with amazing intensity and the backbeat in sync with the pulse of an eye and a heart in and out on the screen behind them. This segued splendidly into my freak out surprise of the concert -- their cover of Pink Floyd's "Breathe," which was both memorable and amazing. All this while bouncing around with Lucas, and I wouldn't have wanted to see / experience this show with anyone else - we had such a great positive energy exchange that he managed to rip me outta my funk. All in all a great show. Word.
