After Miami, Where Nashville Blooms Composed 10 FEB 04
leather jackets and backs
revolving door disclosure of honey
sometimes sweet - but
taste again
you'll find the crystal sugar hardened
no longer sticky, and somewhat rancid
in its former pleasantry
my footfalls hard
on concrete pavement - wet and cold
to these exposed toes
but even so - I can't stay
in this nomadic bed, filled indifferently
the vagabond lifestyle doesn't suit
so much as suggested
so even feet can tread out
the hurt been blistered and sore
been blistered, feet so cold
like the space in his chest
I can't feel them anymore
so it leaves me
this poisonous purging
of it screamed from bridges
on highways that span clear
from Nashville to New Orleans
and in the dew drops
I am clean(sed)
to start anew, eschew this memory
because each time my mind flits
it's unpleasant - all this seeming
and sardonic smiling
I pass through the doorway
and don't look back
I know he's not standing behind me.
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Sorry it's been a bit since my last post - things have been hectic, and as always work, teaching, philosophy, etc...I'm on the upswing, I'm happy to report. I've gotten excited about what I'm doing again - what I'm working on and towards, and it saves me everyday. Sometimes I have to hype myself up about it, but I am really happy to be doing what I'm doing.
Along those lines, and this is the briefest version of the story...MR. SHIT is more than completely over - Tuesday night was the strangest in some ways awfulest night ever...and overly dramatic, as my Tuesday night ritual spun out of control and I was the Sober Sarah, so I couldn't even take solace in oblivion or oblivousness. I will write more later. But part of the night was really fun...and actually managed to develop into a date that I went on last night, during which I had a great time, and whom I'm seeing again tonight. It's exciting. I'm happy. I feel like it's been so long, and particularaly the shitty mc shitt I went through from December till about early February - I was depressed. Things sucked pretty hard. And then sometimes people have the ability to surprise you. It's nice to rediscover that every now and again.
Hope everyone has a great day / night.
