Partida / The Dance
Composed 11 March 04
It's all part of it he said
all part - ones and zeros
my own verse, talk chatter
contribution so oft spoken of
but rarely given, and never in a
handout fashion - sunlight
sundress, and Dostoevsky to my left
muttering about his liver
although it really belonged to
someone else entirely, but
tapping into that consciousness
he tapped into me afterall
and really, it's an 80s blazer
and a stripy shirt beneath
not quite a match, but it strikes
my aesthetic sense with a
smile Elton John sings of
crocodiles, but makes them
sound toothless as they la
in the breeze at me
All part of it - this pageant
play, mine yours all real
and dream intertwined until
it makes no sense, but then,
life makes no sense
she laughs as she thinks it
laughs at the choice between
dance and laughter
but perhaps they're not mutually exclusive
and Bowie moves my hips otherways
even when my compatriots refuse
to be moved to the wah wah wah
of amazing and I dance it out
spinning in the dining room
All part of it and I know
he's right that's why I run crazy
and read nights / that's why I
used to and it was sane
Not peterpanning about college
days gone by nostalgic
but longing deeply for passion
and life and longing a linger
and wine and skipping
hands intertwined hands
inter and love.
And love.
Song of December
Composed 13 December 03
ill suited - ill prepared
with a fuck all glare
shot to the empty stare
while the others look on,
no one ever dared
approach me with the intent to speak
to bridge the gap between and try to reach
past the edges of icy unconcern
and New York attitude and afterburn
alone by myself internal external
why so much emphasis on connectivity and action
when the world stop motion and lost traction
tries to spin us out in a jacknifed emotion
until the misanthrope wins, in spite of his commotion
i wanted to touch your face, one last time
look into your eyes and see what lies behind
reversal of all that i hate, i wanted for once to sate
the desire to know and communicate
but none, alas none of this can occur
i dissolve my tears because i know that we agree
but somehow the lost we was all we ever were
all we ever could be
yet it tore at me, some words and phrases
for lack of knowledge, lack of information
i wanted you to want me, more than i wanted to melt
so i sit alone, realizing all the un-felt.
Five Aneurisms Later
So I've been trying to send out this response paper via email to my classmates all about Rorty and how I think he's misguided. Simple enough. The 4am tone of the world has hit me hard...I was better equipped for this at 18, or hell, even 21 it seems. My head is throbbing, my only nourishment thusfar today being a part of a Twix and a glass of orange juice. I finally finish the paper, and it isn't my best, but decide to get it outta my hands, outta my sight...and it won't send. Or it send 500 times, depending. My email acct would not recognize it as being sent...and so I kept trying to resend and resend it. Now my class probably has 20 copies.
DAR!
Otherwise today is good. Sleepy and headachy, but good. Did my show on 'rvu...go to wrvu.org on Tuesdays noon-2pm central time and hear my show. Sonic Youth! Talking Heads! The 90s Blastback! Today I had someone call me and say, "Will you be my girlfriend forever?!" just because he liked the stuff I play so much. Then towards the end someone was sad that I had to go and that techno was on next - and he said that I should do a 4 hr show during the summer. This was happy.
Anyway, I need some food and some advil. Perhaps my head is as sunsensitive as Flynn's right now. Speedy recovery!
ahoy hoy! or something.
Mo Monday
I'm listening to some accuradio at the moment to the tune of "Tainted Love," which puts a smile on my face like it did yesterday when I heard "Come on Eileen" out at a cafe and remembered my favorite karaoke experience ever - with Kyle in Scotland - singing that sound to a resounding Scottish crowd. I've got this response paper to work on / write up, and I'm none too thrilled about it, unfortunately. It's due-ish tomorrow at noon, and I have lots to say, but I have to find a way to select the proper 4 pages to include.
Wah. I had a good weekend. Saw
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Gerrick on Friday - it was great. Hung out Saturday mostly...did some reading, got stuck in a rainstorm, hung out with Lucas when I finally found him and watched the Twin Peaks prequel -
Fire Walk With Me, which was really fucked up. Then Sunday...read, ate pancakes...yes, THOSE pancakes...read Rorty...played guitar with Gerrick, then went out with Lucas and some people (yes, itw as a Sunday night)...and saw Mr. Shit....unpleasant. Now I've got workity work to do, and it sucks! Whatever. Hopefully I can churn out this paper sorta quickly so that I can get to something else tonight.
